Friday, July 08, 2005

The Case of the Involuntary Cat Continues

Our dogs don't like the Fourth of July. They don't hate freedom. They just can't stand the sound of fireworks. Does anyone understand this fireworks business? I looked it up in Wikipedia and it says that July 4th 1777 was marked by 13 cannon firing thirteen times. A couple years later, George Washington gave his men a double ration of rum and they fired off more artillery, now there's a truly American combination for the holiday. Next we'll learn that George Washington then rode a supercharged stallion in the first NASCAR race on the Fourth of July
History of the Fourth of July link

The article indicates that the first published fireworks celebrations happened in New York and Boston in 1800 and 1805.

The Chinese likely invented fireworks and still make the best fireworks in the world. Does anyone out there think about maybe celebrating the Fourth by reading the Declaration of Independence aloud?
Instead of tunneling their way out of the yard, our dogs then might fall asleep, volunteer for duty in Iraq, or just bark their approval.

btw, here are some of the complaints in the actual Delcaration of Independence that Jefferson et. al. claim give peoples the right to throw off their government....

HE has combined with others to subject us to a Jurisdiction foreign to our Constitution, and unacknowledged by our Laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

FOR quartering large Bodies of Armed Troops among us:

FOR protecting them, by a mock Trial, from Punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

FOR cutting off our Trade with all Parts of the World:

FOR imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

FOR depriving us, in many Cases, of the Benefits of Trial by Jury:

FOR transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended Offences:

It's nice that we have future justices like Alberto Gonzales who respect the constitution, but maybe don't spend much time thinking about the actual words fo the Declaration of Independence. Otherwise, someone might point out that Guantanamo doesn't exactly sound like the American way as imagined by the actual founding fathers.

Anyway, one of our border collies exercised her inalienable right to be free from the sound of fireworks and tunnelled her way out of our yard on the evening of the Fourth of July. She turned up the next day at a neighbor's house where she happened to find some sort of asylum. We read her her rights and put her back in our backyard. A few days after the return of our dog, Phoebe the cat, took off once again. This time, less than a week later someone brought her into a vet, the vet scanned her yet again and she came home. Once again, she seems perfectly happy at home though every time someone opens a door she tried to run out.

These electronic chips seem like a good thing, but they are vaguely reminiscent of slave id bracelets, involuntary catitude. We're honestly not sure what to do now.
If the cat wants her freedom that badly....there should be some sort of underground cat railroad for her to get away from us and the prospect of being chipped back home by some well meaning veterinarian or animal shelter. We love having Phoebe live amongst us, but Phoebe clearly has other ideas about having a regular address.
In the meantime, the dogs who don't have chips, continue to wander our yard campaigning for something called "Interdependence Day" where we celebrate the strange connectedness of all these events and species instead of scaring them as if they were residents of Baghdad or even London.


At 7/12/2005 03:22:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I almost refuse to comment on a cat being forced to live amongst smelly stupid dogs (tautological).

Does she get strokes and pats and adorations and special tasty foods? TS Eliot sent across the Channel to get rabbit in onion sauce for his cats. Maybe it's just that you don't measure up.

At 7/12/2005 02:27:00 PM, Blogger Chancelucky said...

Anything's possible. she's a pleasant enough cat, but no rabbit for any of our animals. When she goes on her adventures, she always comes back having lost weight and relatively listless. I've wondered if she had some home prior to when we got her from the shelter and if she's just trying to get back there.
She also may be a covert CIA operative trying to complete her mission.

She outwardly gets along quite well with the dogs. They do things like play Boggle, hunt for gophers together, and debate the merits of PETA. Also, the other three cats hang around here. I actually saw Phoebe last night wandering near the school yet again. This time, I chose not to chase after her.


Post a Comment

<< Home