Theobertarian Dictonary part 5

Coward:  As in everyday language, this word has pejorative connotations in Theobertarian English. Jean Schmidt recently used the word in a sentence on the House floor, “Tell, Rep. Murtha that “cowards” cut and run, Marines never do.”

After a fracas, Jean Schmidt subsequently denied that she was referring to Rep. Murtha then sought to remove her comments from the Congressional record.  Colonel Danny Bubp, allegedly the source of Schmidt’s Marine quote, then claimed that he never told Jean Schmidt to either say it or direct it at Murtha.  

This may seem strange, because in common parlance, one might call someone who doesn’t stand by his or her own comments a “coward” of sorts, especially when you happen to say it on videotape. To the untrained eye, this might look an awful lot like “cutting and running” .  

This is, however, the same Jean Schmidt who claimed that Paul Hackett’s service in Iraq didn’t count because it wasn’t real combat and falsely disputed his claim to be the only Iraq War 2 vet to run for Congress at the time.  She understands that real service is like the president’s National Guard duty, the vice-president’s deferments, and her own extensive time in military service to her country in times of war.  

In Theobertarian English a “coward” is someone who publicly disagrees with you and stands by what he or she said.  I imagine this confuses people like John Murtha who was himself a Marine for more than two decades and was even decorated for his service there.  People like John Murtha probably imagine that standing up for something and speaking out is an act of courage rather than cowardice.  

In Theobertarian doctrine there is a simple way to deal with “cowards”,  you just blow them up from afar or send someone else's children to do it for you.


postscript, it's worth mentioning that the Bush Al Jazeera revelation linked above puts the documentary Control Room
that ends with the US taking out an Al Jazeera correspondent as "collateral damage" in a different light.
chancelucky