Chancelucky

Friday, April 14, 2006

Open Mike (American Idol)




I got the following e-mail the other day in response to one of my American Idol reviews. I believe that it speaks for itself and I am proud to break ground in helping to make the world aware of this shocking form of abuse.

Dear Mr. Chancelucky,

     We realize that you have no direct connection to the Fox show American Idol, but it’s clear to us that you are the funniest most incisive critic of the show on the internet and have even gotten on Blog Critics at times.  We therefore believe that you are in a pivotal position to do something about the repeated blatant and disturbing incidents of open abuse on the show recently.  

     In the last year, Bo Bice repeatedly threw mike stands across the stage at the end of his performances and Simon made lewd comments to Amanda Avila about microphones.  This year, Chris Daughtry, possibly imitating Bo, has done the same thing on at least three occasions.  Earlier in the season, Mandisa gave a wireless microphone whiplash.  Just last week, Taylor Hicks openly kicked a microphone stand while the judges laughed about it.  Clearly this form of microphone bashing is increasingly the norm on the show.   We have even heard stories that during one rehearsal Kevin Covais took his wireless mike and threw it into a filled bubble bath after rehearsing Part Time Lover with one of his admirers.

We are shocked that a bleeding heart liberal like yourself has never raised this growing form of abuse in your blog.

     We don’t mean to make Idol threats, but these young performers need to know what happened to some very talented musicians who abused musical equipment. Jerry Lee Lewis lit his piano on fire and soon was banned from the airwaves for marrying his fourteen year old cousin.  Jimi Hendrix lit his guitar on fire onstage and was dead from an overdose just months later. Most people believe that these were just lifestyle issues.  We assure you that they were not.

     Please use your enormous influence to raise the general public’s consciousness by passing this e-mail on to three other bloggers. The last person who broke the chain (we like to call it a circuit) had his screen covered in male-enhancement adware for seven weeks.

With this little talked about form of abuse the pain of the initial incident is just amplified throughout the victim's lifetime.  Remember, microphones don’t have voices of their own, so we have to speak up for them.

     Sincerely,

     Ella Q. Shun, Current President People for the Ethical Treatment of Musical Equipment (PETME)



Petme
1 Ribbon Drive
Blumlein,Ohio 89422

A Mike is a Terrible Thing to Waste








Other Chancelucky Idol Reviews

Sir Linksalot American Idol articles






3 Comments:

At 4/15/2006 07:29:00 AM, Blogger Sunny Loves Soul said...

Very nice! I will make haste in sending PETME a nice tax deductible donation. Someone has to speak out for all the Mike's out there! ;)

 
At 4/15/2006 11:14:00 PM, Anonymous pogblog said...

I feel compelled to speak up for abuse. Nobody else will.

Mics are spiteful. They issue static and squeals just on a whim. Nothing but a bunch of self-centered primadonnas. "Don't get too close to me or I'll scream 'Feedback.' You can have an event going so sweet and then the mic sulks and conks out ruining the evening entirely. Does the mic apologize? Never.

They deserve what they get and worse.

 
At 4/16/2006 02:27:00 PM, Blogger Chancelucky said...

This is typical of the blame the victim mentality. People spit into their mikes, throw them around, then complain when the microphone cries out in pain. How many public speakers, bands, and singers have you heard complain that it was the public address or amplification system that ruined their performance. Microphones don't squeak, people do.

 

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