My Way or the Subway (Idol 7 Men Round of 16)

Back in the nineties, I happened to be in the Jay Street subway station in Brooklyn when I noticed a Chinese man in an overcoat standing between one of the tiled columns and a casio keyboard. He started playing a couple arpeggios on his Casio then broke out into Puccini or some bit of Italian opera. The guy was terrific. His bass-baritone voice resonated through the platform while some people stopped to listen, most just did whatever people do while waiting for subway trains. I don’t know for sure, but I did do a bit of googling and have since learned that he probably wasn’t exactly a street musician-busker in the conventional sense. I’m pretty sure the guy’s name was Tao Qi and he was part of a project called MTA Arts for Transit. In other words, he was a working musician who just happened to be working the Jay Street subway station.

Still, the effect was pretty incredible. He hardly looked like an opera singer and this wasn’t exactly the sort of space in which you’d expect Puccini, much less good Puccini, and all that conspired to make it one of those great musical experiences. It’s almost too bad I did the google thing and found out that he was sort of a ringer. I had thought of it as one of those New York moments that we tourists get to enjoy and take home to regale our friends with.

I’ve said before that you generally know when the producers think the music’s pretty good when an Idol installment really is mostly singing. Let me put it this way… Those embarrassment moments, even David Hernandez’s booger story as opposed to his other story, weren’t very distracting. Btw, How many benefits has David Archueleta performed for? Basically, the guys sang their eighties song, Randy did his human tuning fork bit, Paula told them how great they were, and Simon actually crossed the 50% mark of being more positive than not with his critiques. So who keeps alive his chance to sing pap for 19e productions and who are we going to be hearing at a subway station near us soon?

Luke Menard: This is show biz, memorable counts way more than competent. He did Wham, but not the George Michael version more like the Zoolander version. It’s so hard to be really really good looking and still be a forgettable performer. I’d be surprised to see this guy next week anywhere but in the audience.

David Archuleta: He’s basically got a pass to the final six or so. He played the piano, sang, sounded okay, licked his upper lip, and giggled awkwardly. Paula said “it’s so perfect that you’re not completely perfect and that’s what makes you even more perfect.”
Truly, it was Another Day in Paradise for this guy’s run on the show.

The most interesting thing about the whole segment was his claim that he chose the song to remind people that not everyone lives in Paradise in this world. I kind of liked that. Simon says you have to lighten it up from time to time though. I guess when they do Idol Cares this year they’ll have Jack Black and Ben Stiller there to riff on the whole bit about millions of starving children. Oh wait, that was last year…

It’s nice for one of the teenagers to make reference to something other than “Idol” being the only dream he’s ever had in his life. I do have this lurking “stage mother” worry because of that story though and yes, I did want to see him freeze up on stage some time. I’d even vote for him if he did it and I don’t vote.

Danny Noriega: This is show biz, memorable counts way more than competent and the who survives Luke or Danny may be the ultimate test of that. The show is clearly trying to establish Danny Talk, as Ryan points out it’s more or less a dialect based on text-messaging (who sponsors this show again?), as one of this year’s sideshows. He’s really good at it. The half moose head back at Simon was pretty inspired, the dandruff flick maybe not so much. For someone who Paula and Randy insist has great vocal skills, their love seems a little tainted at this point.
Every now and then, you get these clues that Simon actually doesn’t know pop music all that well or at least as well as Randy and Paula. There are always groups and songs he’s simply never heard of and it takes me by surprise.

David Hernandez: Interesting that they put him next to Danny Noriega after a week of multiple rumors about Hernandez’s past as a gay stripper. Naturally, he got to sing a love song (It’s All Coming Back to Me Now). Maybe a little weird choice given the gay stripper story( btw Beckeye who knows 80's music way better than I do pointed out that Celine Dion first popularized the song in the 90's and that it was written originally for Meat Loaf, I'd originally had it in my head that Simon accused Hernandez of doing a Whitney Houston cover). I think the guy sings well, he has a clear singing identity, only the style is well straight out of the 80’s even when he’s not singing 80’s. The one thing that may do him in was the booger story. I’ll be thinking about what's up his nose every time he performs and not in the Amy Winehouse kind of sense.

Michael Johns: David Cook apparently broke his guitar so Michael Johns ( the pro) had to step in a little early to do the theme song from the Breakfast Club, maybe the ultimate 80’s movie. Where is John Hughes these days anyway? Where’s Molly Ringwald and Judd Nelson for that matter? Not that I miss any of them. He’s good. My only worry is that he comes off as a bit too slick. I’d love to see a bit more spontaneity from him on stage or we might forget about him say like the entire cast of the Breakfast Club.

David Cook: Lionel Ritchie and an electric guitar in the Nicole Ritchie era? It worked and Cook I think established himself as the serious “Musician” among the guys. He appears to have the most distinct musical identity of the about to be finalists. That’s a good thing isn’t it? Hello! McFly are you listening? (random eighties reference to honor the theme)

Look for him to start getting the Chris Daughtry treatment.

Jason Castro: Leonard Cohen, Jeff Buckley, and the unmentioned Rufus Wainwright all set the bar for Hallelujah (featured in Shrek I think). I still say that dreadlocks and all, Jason Castro would and should have gotten carded at that bar. He seemed to run out of breath just after the whispery sections and at a couple points broke character to wink/smile at the audience. Yes, he brought off the vulnerability but I wasn’t thinking that he’d pulled off anything that I’d want to record or that he’d ever had a contemplative moment quite like that in real life. He really does seem like the sort of person where pulling out one of his own dreads is a major life event.

I think the judges were rewarding him for taking their advice and losing the guitar for one show.

Chikezie: I liked the falsetto. He went for a more modern semi-casual look and I’m thinking this guy may actually do better with being an iffy dresser. There’s kind of a Sinbad vibe about the guy. As in he might find some way to get popular, but no one’s every going to be convinced that he’s either really good or special in some way as a performer. “All the wo/man that I need?” though…and more Whitney Houston? So why didn’t the judges call Chikezie on Idol’s secret “No more Whitney” rule? Is it because the guy’s black and therefore exempt? Even with the pimp spot though, I think he’s a candidate for elimination. Until he turned up last night, I’d almost forgotten that he was still on the show. That can’t be good.

I don’t normally do this, but here you go.

Safe:
Michael Johns
David Archuleta
David Cook
Jason Castro

Maybe:
David Hernandez (I keep thinking about Antonella Barba for some reason)

No tour for you this summer:
Luke Menard
Chikezie
Danny Noriega (another test for Vote for the Worst-ish)

Off to Whole Foods to shop for baby shower gifts for Nicole Ritchie. Can you see food shopping with Simon Cowell? "You call this fish, it's like something you'd find in a cabaret, karaoke,genetically modified fish farm fish. I hated this. Don't you have Mrs. Paul's?"

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