Theobertarian Dictionary part 6 Insurgents

For Sale Used Rambler Insurgent, Call Dealing Don at PNAC


Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld has decided that he doesn’t feel comfortable with the word "Insurgents".  According to him, the Iraqi uh….those people who oppose the US presence in Iraq by shooting at us and leaving improvised explosive devices all around the country don’t have a good reason for what they’re doing, so they can’t be “insurgents”.  Hello?  I suppose if some other country stationed 150,000 soldiers in Maryland, Virginia, and DC, we wouldn’t have a good reason either.  Yes, I know all of the Iraqi people were supposed to welcome our invasion with open rather than loaded arms, but just because it said that in Rumsfeld’s war plan doesn’t mean it’s true.   Some people may prefer having a homegrown ruthless dictator to being ruled by well meaning foreigners who happen to torture them, misplace their reconstruction money, and shoot white phosphorous shells at them.  

Just yesterday, the Supreme Court declined to hear the strange case of Sibel Edmonds, a translator/whistleblower who was fired by the FBI.  Hired as a translator shortly after 9/11, Edmonds complained about a variety of suspicious activities at the FBI, including failure to actually translate documents, odd entanglements between staff and suspects, and possibly even indicators that there was more notice about 9/11 than any cared to admit to.  The FBI fired her.  Edmonds sued.  On two different occasions, reviews indicate that the FBI’s actions were retaliatory and there is evidence that Edmond’s concerns had some merit. Just as odd, the Justice Department then started classifying everything about Sibel Edmonds, including an interview with 60 Minutes, after the fact.Her entire suit was dismissed because the Justice Department through John Ashcroft invoked the State Secrets privilege.  The Supreme Court just said “well it doesn’t matter if her claim might be true, there’s mighty sensitive stuff here and it can’t be allowed into court as a matter of national security.  Therefore, no justice for Sibel Edmonds.”

This may explain why a chunk of marble literally fell off the court façade yesterday.  There remains the seemingly minor matter:  no one seems to know what was going wrong at the FBI’s translation department and there’s no sign that anyone in the administation seems to care.  I am sorry that the Supreme Court turned down the case, I would have been fascinated to see Justice Kafka’s opinion.  In the meantime, I suppose they'll claim that this was just another example of "tort reform" in action.

Fwiw heres’s the American Heritage dictionary definition of "insurgent" and here’s their definition of "justice".  Perhaps we need to send Secretary Rumsfeld a dictionary.  I know Duke Cunningham will have some time to read the dictionary over the next few months so maybe he call help the Defense Department out in some other way than he had been.  Anyway, here’s their definition of "patriot".  

So, between Sibel Edmonds and Donald Rumsfeld, which of the two was actually doing something patriotic?  

Insurgent:  Have you ever noticed that President Bush has never referred to Timothy Macveigh as a “terrorist” or an “insurgent” nor has he ever declared war on various groups in the United States who blow up Planned Parenthood clinics.  Of course, many of those are part of the 30% who still approve of his presidency, so he wouldn’t want to call them bad names.  And what of that nice former Congressman who took money from a defense contractor in the middle of a war?  I suppose that’s just an act of greed rather than “insurgency” or “terrorism” even if we were making soldiers on the ground buy their own body armor while this guy was pocketing like a million dollars that might have gone to say I don’t know, buying body armor for like a thousand soldiers. It’s odd to me that Fox News has such an easy time spotting “traitors” and for the last two days, they’ve had such a hard time finding a way to mention Duke Cunningham.  

At the same time, according to the Secretary of Defense real “insurgents” must have a legitimate gripe against their government, be cohesive, and have popular support.  I looked at the most recent opinion polls  in the US and apparently 56% of the American people are insurgents when it comes to the War in Iraq.