Treated Like a Dog

     My wife woke up this morning, Mother’s Day, with a migraine so severe that she had to go to the bathroom twice to throw up.  Kaiser told her to come to the emergency room and after some convincing by me, we went at about 10:30 this morning.  Once there, we had to wait in line at the emergency room for fifteen minutes until an emergency room triage nurse did a quick check to make sure there were no neurological problems.  She then explained that the emergency room keeps a bank of appointments for Kaiser’s weekend clinic and sent my wife over there.  

     We waited for about an hour in a crowded emergency room with the usual assortment of coughing children, elderly people in walkers, and a large middle-aged man in a bathrobe who sprawled out on three of the chairs in the more empty part of the waiting room.  There were a lot of mothers in the clinic waiting room.  One walked by with a big aluminum balloon and a bunch of flowers.  The staff, many of whom were probably mothers too, didn’t especially seem to notice that this was any different from any other Sunday.  Perhaps, Kaiser isn’t allowed to acknowledge Mother’s Day for religious or political reasons.   

     We got seen by a doctor who initially thought my wife was some other patient then walked out the door after she discovered the mistake only to return ten minutes later.  For the fourth time that morning, my wife got to explain her symptoms.  The doctor did a second set of neurological tests that looked like a longer version of the one done in the emergency room waiting area.  She mentioned to my wife that the onset of the migraines might be do to menopause (a true happy Mother’s Day moment) then sent her off to the pharmacy to fill her prescription.

     We waited in a third line at the pharmacy for half an hour until we noticed that everyone who had been there when we started had already picked up their order.  My wife got in line despite the fact that her name hadn’t appeared on the board, the clerk then explained that the Doctor had sent the order to the wrong pharmacy. My wife's migraine suddenly got worse.  We waited another fifteen minutes which ended with my wife complaining to the clinic and me listening to the pharmacist explain how she was supposed to put the pill on her tongue without water and that if she still had the headaches after taking the pills three times in a day, she needed to come back to the doctor.

     We came home at two in the afternoon.  Our daughter saved the day by making Greek pizza and fruit sorbet for Mother’s Day dinner.  

     A month ago, Lucky the eleven year old border collie had gotten sick to the point that she wouldn’t eat her food and was spending most of her day just lying on the deck.  We first thought she might be reaching the natural end of her life, but decided to take her to the vet to make sure.  We made the appointment that morning.  The vet works out of a restored Victorian that has a sunny waiting room with two friendly receptionists who complimented my dog while reaffirming the description of the symptoms I provided over the phone.  

     Within about ten minutes, a tech came in to check out the dog and gave her a full body exam while jotting down some notes.  The exam room was clean, pleasant, and looked out on a fenced yard.  The Vet came in as scheduled, petted the dog, asked some pointed questions then presented three courses of action.  She asked me to wait a few minutes while she made up a batch of antibiotics and I returned with dog to the waiting room where the receptionist asked how the dog was.  

     Within a few days, Lucky was doing fine.  Fwiw, my wife was also fine this evening, but I’m still struck by the stark contrast between the quality of my dog’s veterinary care and my wife’s Mother’s Day experience at Kaiser.  I’m threatening to insist on going to the vet the next time I get sick.

     I’m trying to figure out some of the reasons.  A simple one is that there are probably good and bad vets just as there are good and bad Kaisers or hospitals of any kind.  Some other things came to mind.

1. The vet world doesn’t involve insurance much.  There’s a direct relationship between the payer and the provider of services.  I’m not sure what kind of malpractice vets have but I suspect it’s not as significant a percentage of the cost of running a practice.

1. Vets don’t have to keep patients alive at all costs.  The owner and the vet are free to decide when prolonging life makes sense.  

1. Vets honestly seem to like their patients and their jobs much better.

There are some other differences.  One big one is that we don’t have anything close to universal health care for dogs and cats.  Another is that most animals don’t talk back, but will bite if you treat them badly. Of course we don’t have universal health care for children either. Certainly, some people treat their pets better than some people treat their children.  Still I have to ask what kind of screwy society has veterinarians who understand "humane" better than those who treat people?
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