Chancelucky

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Opposable Thumbs Revisited



I posted several months ago about one of our cats, Luna, who has learned to open our front door. We don’t have a circular door knob that requires an opposable thumb. Instead, our front door has a flat flange that you press down on to release that little wedge between the edge of the door and the door frame. About a year ago, Luna learned to jump high in the air land precisely on the flange with her front paws and push just enough with her back paws to pop the door open just before the latch re-engages. Yes, we lock the door, but that doesn’t keep Luna from continuing to try at all hours of the night and morning.

The other night, Mrs. CL and I were discussing possible solutions. Yes, I know, maybe just letting the cat come in at will might be one of them, but sometimes she does things like drag dead vermin to the front door, etc.

Mrs. CL wants to put adhesive strips around the door handle. Her theory is that the cat will miss and then find herself stuck vertically to the door one day and then stop trying.
This would be like flypaper at a ninety degree angle, but the neighbors might find it a bit strange to find a cat stuck to our door handle in that fashion.

My proposal was that I take half of a Leggs pantyhose container (I honestly don’t know if they still exist) and cut that in half then glue the half-dome just over the latch. The cat would then try to jump up, hit the rounded bit of plastic and slide off without engaging the latch. My wife insists that it would make our door look like it had a wart or something. I even promised to paint the dome the same color as the door. She still refused. Women can be terribly impractical sometimes.

My friend Karl Rove suggested that we blame the cat’s antics on liberals. I asked him how that would solve the problem, but he just shrugged and said, “Who cares about solving anything as long as half of America thinks it’s someone else’s fault.”

I then kicked Karl in the groin and told him that liberals made me do it. For some reason, our cat found this very funny.

In the meantime, the dogs, possibly inspired by the cat, have learned to open the sliding door and the side door to the garage. At least the cat doesn’t leave nose marks on the door when she comes in. One day, a bird found its way into our living room as well.
I’m convinced that our house used to belong to Dr. Doolittle.

I know there are many smart people on the internet. Some of them even come by this blog. If you can suggest ways to cat and dog proof our doors, I’d appreciate it.




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11 Comments:

At 6/20/2007 07:55:00 PM, Anonymous pogblog said...

You're supposed to be a servant of the cat. If you hear her attempting the door, you scurry down and let her in and give her a saucer of warm heavy cream, preferably organic & never ultrapasteurized that disgusting scam. She is a deity after all and you are not.

The smelly dogs should be left outside. Karl Rove and Adolf Hitler like dogs.

I am aghast to hear that the otherwise excellent Mrs. CL would even consider trying to thwart or discomfit Luna. Please get your priorities straight.

(Is that a photo of the actual Luna or just Luna-esque?)

 
At 6/21/2007 08:00:00 AM, Blogger Parklife said...

hey.. thats my cat in the background!

 
At 6/21/2007 09:22:00 AM, Blogger Chancelucky said...

Mr. Pogblog,
This cat obsession of your worries me. The Egyptians worshipped cats and some people believe they did all sorts of strange things.

The photo is a random shot from the internet. We do not publish actual photos of our cats, because we are concerned about people like you possibly coming to catnap them.

Parklife,
You probably have the kind of cat that can't open doors though I bet.

 
At 6/22/2007 02:33:00 AM, Anonymous pogblog said...

Yeah, and who do you think designed the pyramids? The stone-totin' Egyptians -- or the cats? (Think sphinx.)

Honestly, you dog people are certainly not the cat's pajamas. It's not for nada that the fake war gambit is called wag the dog.

The fact that parklife has a cat speaks well of him/her.

 
At 6/22/2007 10:02:00 AM, Blogger Chancelucky said...

The Egyptians got done in by the Romans who were unquestionably dog people since their Empire was madse possilbe by a kindly she-wolf. If it hadn't been for the Romans, we'd still be playing with asps and writing in hieroglyphics.

 
At 6/22/2007 09:32:00 PM, Blogger AHP said...

That's one smart cat. You should get it on TV. Actually, all you have to do is tape an eraser or a block of wood under the lever. The cat can try to knock it out, but duct tape will prevent that. Then, when a human needs to use the door, strategically remove the block and pull the lever down to unlatch the door. If tape gets sticky, maybe a rubber band or two could work.

Alternatively, you could buy a new door knob/lock. That could be one expensive cat.

 
At 6/23/2007 06:59:00 AM, Blogger Dale said...

Remove the doors.

 
At 6/24/2007 07:42:00 PM, Anonymous pogblog said...

I usually agree with Dale, but standing ovation this time!

 
At 6/25/2007 09:50:00 AM, Blogger Chancelucky said...

Atul,
that makes sense. What a simple solution? Over the weekend the cat caught a mole and was in the midst of gutting it on the doormat just as I came up the walkway. I had visions of Luna popping the door open then dragging in her prey for us to admire. One of her predecessors did that a cuople years back.

Dale and Mr. Pogblog,

I know it's hard to conceive, but there are times like the above when we'd prefer that the cat stay out of our house.

One alternative though might be to install a screen door.

 
At 6/28/2007 05:52:00 PM, Blogger Dale said...

The needs of Dale and Pogblog should always come before yours Chancelucky!

 
At 6/28/2007 09:04:00 PM, Blogger Chancelucky said...

Dale.
I thought you were a bee not a cat.

 

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