Tessa Horst Baldwin? (Bachelor 10 review home visits)

Andy and Tessa Horst face one another on the couch after Tessa’s dad has told the officer doctor that his daughter went on the show for “fun.” Andy has told us that he isn’t leaving Washington D.C. until he knows how serious Tessa is about being on this reality show. Tessa confesses “I’m ready to fall in love.”

Andy follows up with “Say it. Who are your looking forward to falling in love with?”

I was rooting for more interesting answers here.

a) Chris Harrison
b) My possibly jealous best friend, Samantha, who flew in from Denver to cross examine you.
c) That guitar player who follows the Bachelor around and strums whenever anyone’s about to kiss.
d) Bevin
e) Howie Mandel, America’s only OCD gameshow host, from Deal or No Deal

Unfortunately, Tessa sticks with the script and says “I’m looking forward to falling in love with Andy.”

They kiss though a bit less passionately then he used to kiss Bevin before she confessed about the divorce. Still, I turn to my wife and say “Wow, it’s over.”

My wife responds, “I don’t think it’s over. He really seemed to like Danielle.”

“For real?”

“Yeah, it’s not that obvious to me. He said “It felt like home with Danielle’s family.”

“But, that was a Bachelor moment. Did you see the way they softened the lights, brought out the guitar guy, and did the fadeaway? Surely they didn’t show Andy kissing Tessa good-bye because it was too much of a giveaway.”

“There’s just something about the way he is with Danielle. He gives her all of his attention, well except maybe when he was belly dancing with the sister. Also, that was a much more passionate kiss at the end.”

We then both break up laughing. We can’t actually be having a serious conversation about who Officer Andy might choose can we? How did that happen?

I would hate to ever have to talk on the phone with Andy Baldwin. If you witnessed his post-rejection conversation with Amber Alchalabi, you’d understand that he’s not Mr. Glib. He speaks carefully even haltingly at times and always with a Bachelorese accent, but Doctor Andy has also managed to come off as someone who takes the whole mission with a seriousness that seems to transcend the show’s faux romanticism.

I have no idea if this is a good idea or if any of the ladies are actually suitable over the long haul for him, but Andy is intent on finishing his challenge. Thus far, he hasn’t been the sort for creative romantic gestures, witty conversation, or subtle insights about his choices. His one on ones seem to have one theme, “I’m in this for the right reasons. Are you in this for the right reasons?”

Sometimes, I honestly think that he expects the ladies not to lie. “Well actually, Dr. Baldwin, I really just wanted a free trip to Hawaii- I’m here to get more hits on my Myspace.com page.- I just want to be on television and I collect roses to sell on E-bay.”

Come to think of it, the triathlete thing is just an extension of Dr. Andy’s basic personality. The idea behind a triathlon is not to do any of the three skills either super fast or especially well. You do not have to be a world class runner, swimmer, or cyclist. Basically, you have to enjoy endless training and pain. The best triathletes don’t quit and you take pride in things like personal bests and always finishing regardless. Andy is on this show to finish. He’s not here to promote dog shampoos, meet soap opera stars, to revive his acting career, or to bicycle across Paris without a helmet. It’s weirdly riveting to watch him make his way to the finish line and I find myself rooting for “Mr. Right Reasons.”

Amber- I can’t remember ever seeing a sadder home visit than this one. This is way beyond having Meredith find out that you’re an unemployed pharmaceutical salesman who’s living at home- Having your mother tell the Bachelor that you were “engaged” in every sense of the world if you know what I mean all too recently- Lannie's mom. Even Trish’s family rallied around her enough to host Jesse Palmer.

Amber does have almost the same last name as Ahmed Chalabi, the Iraqi expatriate who helped lure the United States into war. It did occur to me that the family might be relatives who weren’t sure if Andy was down with Project for a New American Century. I don’t know where Amber’s family is from or anything about their religious beliefs, but it seemed possible that the family is both from the Middle East and Moslem. They may not have approved of meeting men on dating shows, because they don’t approve of dating at all. If this was the case, it would have been a genuinely fascinating thing to explore.

It’s also possible that they may not have thought it was a good idea for their 23 year old daughter to risk her job by missing 22 days of the school year to go on group dates and attend rose ceremonies. Honestly, it was weird to know that Amber’s principal had to resign in the wake of granting her leave to go on the show while watching her kids meet her new possible boyfriend, Dr. Andy, and a camera crew from ABC.

So, why did Andy kiss the dog if he wasn’t serious about the owner? Andy’s rapport with dogs including Tessa’s family dog was much better than Prince Lorenzo’s. Personally, I don’t think “youth” was the issue with Amber and her roomie. My take was that it was a social class issue. Andy wasn’t going to say it, but Amber and friends wouldn’t advance his Navy profile much. The aunt seemed nice enough, but everyone in Amber’s life looked like they got pulled out of line at Walmart. Everyone made it clear to Andy that Amber was plenty old enough and ready. Andy just couldn’t say the real reason.

This is what scares me most about Amber’s adventure on the show and its aftermath. Her job is now in jeopardy, her family relationship is strained, and she can’t be all that happy with the roommate right now. Who knows what was said or done at the rose ceremony (those were some odd reactions from the other ladies to her exit)? Amber didn’t exactly keep her poise and there was the sad bit in the car about all the right men backing away from her. Yikes! Some journey that was.

I really liked Amber. It sounds like she had a tough adolescence and has shown the grit to do well nonetheless. I knew she was toast, but I started to root for her.

This is the irony though. ABC keeps playing up the Officer and Gentleman thing and the one contestant who was a precise match for Deborah Winger was Amber Al Chalabi. What a great scene it could have been. Andy showing up at school X and carrying Amber out of the classroom, officer’s cap on her head, while the roommate and dog shout, “Way to go Amber” and dozens of cute little kids applaud while parents start complaining that they’re not spending enough time preparing for the TAS exams.

Bevin- Once she confessed, I just didn’t think he looked all that in heaven with Bevin. He did say that the family was “My kind of people.” I thought the mutual gift of the painting from mom was strange. It’s like “I’m giving this iffy looking water color as a gift to the both of you. No pressure there Mr. Bachelor.”

I loved the visit to the falls though, it had this whole David Lynch Twin Peaks vibe, particularly when Andy asked Bevin if she used to bring boys there to make out. Okay, this must be a good time to tell the guy that I got married as a teenager.

Great scene with the father. First Bevin, who has basically thrown herself at Andy, can’t quite say that she’s in love with the guy. Instead, she’s going “When will I get another chance with a guy like this?” like he’s on auction at E-bay or something. Second, Dad encourages her to take the risk then starts crying too.

Here’s the math. Military wife and crying all the time don’t add up. Remember Blythe Danner in the Great Santini- totally stoic. All good officer’s wives in military movies never allow themselves to cry, sometimes even after the husband dies in the heroic mission. Even Deborah Winger tells Richard Gere that he owes her nothing and refuses to show that she’s breaking up inside as she tells him.

Danielle- That was a picture of the family at the New York City marathon and Andy did say something like “My kind of family photo”? Danielle lives at home but Amber’s the one who’s not old enough? Enough with this dead boyfriend business, does Danielle do anything else with her life? I mean, what’s with don’t break my little girl’s heart because she already had a boyfriend die? Geez, maybe the family should become Hindu fundamentialists and just throw the girl on the guy’s funeral pyre.

I liked the banana scene, though I confess that’s partly because of the odd psychological implications. Sometimes though a cigar is just a cigar, but it did look like a scene out of Fear Factor. Also, it was interesting that three of the ladies have a younger and arguably more attractive sister and no brothers.

I think the best case though for Danielle is that if you want a military wife, she’s the best candidate of the three. Andy appears to be highly rational and he noted that Danielle had already been through stress. Family is stable and would enhance a military career. Danielle also looks like someone who might hang out with the other officer’s wives and be there to greet and support Andy at the triathlon rather than competing along side him.

Tessa - Am I the only one who remembers that Tessa faked hurting her ankle after being thrown from the mechanical bull and how that foreshadowed Bevin’s injury? This was an oddly edited home visit to the point where I wasn’t sure if this was Tessa’s biological dad or her stepdad. I wouldn’t underestimate the fact that Tessa reads Andy well. She doesn’t spend their pre-home time talking to him, she wrestles in the snow with him.

Wow that was a lot of questions! It was very upper-class East Coast. I don’t know that Andy or Fleiss quite understood that he was supposed to banter back. It was a very interesting scene washing dishes with the Dad. What a crass question though, has Tessa brought a lot of guys home before? What’s Dad supposed to say, yeah my daughter brought the whole ninth fleet home and basically she’s a total tramp? Really fascinating answer though, “She’s very careful.”

Tessa’s actually the chess player of all the ladies. The whole time she’s been playing “defense”, she’s actually been attacking or chasing the guy, just that Andy doesn’t play the game at that level. He’s think he’s cornered her into the big moment by forcing her to say “Who.” It’s Tessa who’s pretty much forked him. Now that Andy’s lured her there, if she says “Yes, I want you,” the guy’s going to look like Officer Doofus if he backs off.

The one thing that doesn’t add up though. Tessa hardly seems the sort who would want to be the sort of military wife who sublimates her own needs to her husband’s career. She’s probably winning the game, but does she really want what comes with winning?

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